Look! I’m alive!
And thankfully, so far all my patients have stayed that way as well.
Right now, I’m in the pediatric surgery resident workroom taking night float call. Starting on pediatric surgery is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. Of course, it helps that my mentor is hellbent on teaching me (so far, he is the only surgeon who asks me to dictate our cases, which is a great way to remember exactly how to do an operation- and forces you to remain concentrated on every detail during the case) and that everybody here at Pediatric Hospital is super nice.
Operating on children is pretty great too. They’re easy to move from the gurney to the operating tables, they (usually) have very little fat, and their tissues are great. Of course, when I have extra time on rounds, I also get to exclaim over how cute all the babies are. Yes, they are cute; no, I don’t want one… right now. (Name that TV show)
However, despite all of the operating that I’ve been able to do, I think the best part about starting internship is that now I know that I made the right choice when I chose this specialty. Lame and cheesy, I know, but I was definitely scared at the end of 4th year that I had made the wrong decision. In the words of GOB, “I have made a huge mistake.”
At the same time, I don’t think I’ve ever been so terrified, had such low self-esteem (transiently- once in a while I feel semi-competent at my job), or felt so plain out dumb. All were expected, I suppose! Now let’s see how I feel in a few more months.