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I am trying my bestest not to let this blog lapse into disrepair while I struggle to become a surgeon. So far so good? Unfortunately, most of what I have to talk about involves work, which is not fun at all for most people. (Maybe for one. You know who you are…)
So here’s something new! Yesterday, Husband and I tried our hands (legs?) at road biking. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that I start disliking doing new things- mostly out of fear: fear that I’ll hurt myself, and possibly worse, fear of embarrassing myself. There’s something a little undignified but adventurous and carefree about trying new things, and as the “investments” that I’ve put in myself keep piling up, I’ve found myself shying away from indignity and staying the safe known route.
And so I’m getting old.
So Husband’s been on me to try some sort of biking since we’ve moved to Utah. People here seem to have a “winter sport” as well as a “summer sport.” I really only have a winter sport- downhill skiing and snowboarding. So following a few weeks (at least) of cajoling and bargaining, Husband got me out in Park City to try out road biking. Let me tell you, as I struggled to just get ON the bike, I kept thinking, “Oh God, what have I gotten myself into….?”
But biked we did! And it was fun! Road biking is SO much better than mountain biking. (Although some may argue with this, that is my final opinion on the matter.) Hills are intimidating, but at least you don’t feel like you’re fighting gravity times two (or four, or ten) in order to get up a hill. On a road bike, I think I could possibly even get to work!
So, that was my big adventure for the weekend. Now I return to night float again at the Pediatric Hospital- and maybe this time I’ll get some learning in.
A real quickie because for once I actually have my computer out…
I got complimented on my knot-tying skills today. And apologized to because I wasn’t allowed to do anything in the OR.
We (finally) got our professional wedding photos back! I haven’t even finished going through them all. That’s because there are like… 800+ of them and I’m trying to update my iPhone at the same time and browse and read Sabiston’s so I don’t look like a complete idiot during didactics tomorrow. The med students know more than I do. And that’s no lie. When the pimping starts, I pray to God that the med students know the answer so the pimping doesn’t get to me. So far… pretty good.
I counted. I’ve logged 40+ cases so far. Not even a month in. Thank you, Utah.
I am going to miss operating on skinny little people. Everything is so much cuter. Tiny gallbladders, tiny livers, teeny squiggly bowel…
I think tiny gallbladders are my favorite. Followed by tiny liver edges.
And before I melt into delirium, I’m going to finish reading and go to bed.
Look! I’m alive!
And thankfully, so far all my patients have stayed that way as well.
Right now, I’m in the pediatric surgery resident workroom taking night float call. Starting on pediatric surgery is probably the best thing that could have happened to me. Of course, it helps that my mentor is hellbent on teaching me (so far, he is the only surgeon who asks me to dictate our cases, which is a great way to remember exactly how to do an operation- and forces you to remain concentrated on every detail during the case) and that everybody here at Pediatric Hospital is super nice.
Operating on children is pretty great too. They’re easy to move from the gurney to the operating tables, they (usually) have very little fat, and their tissues are great. Of course, when I have extra time on rounds, I also get to exclaim over how cute all the babies are. Yes, they are cute; no, I don’t want one… right now. (Name that TV show)
However, despite all of the operating that I’ve been able to do, I think the best part about starting internship is that now I know that I made the right choice when I chose this specialty. Lame and cheesy, I know, but I was definitely scared at the end of 4th year that I had made the wrong decision. In the words of GOB, “I have made a huge mistake.”
At the same time, I don’t think I’ve ever been so terrified, had such low self-esteem (transiently- once in a while I feel semi-competent at my job), or felt so plain out dumb. All were expected, I suppose! Now let’s see how I feel in a few more months.